Well, it's done.
A thoroughly exhausting process of gathering data, compiling, and generating a grotesque amount of models and charts and graphs.
While there were many pretenders - you know who you are. Putting moves on girls at clubs and getting shot down in a normal manner and going home alone. While the attempts were noble, it was if an Olympic Skeet shooter was practicing, just knocking you out of the air.
However, that is not merely enough to attain the crown of "Failboat Skipper".
In the end, it came down to what was expected to be a great showdown.
However, once the numbers came in, it was a shoe in.
Now the announcement:
2009 Failboat First Mate: Our own Seggy. Why the special award? Merely from his performance on Sunday. The appearance of self-urination, as documented by Pengy, and sentences that were as incomplete as they were incoherent didn't stop this Bastion of Jersey from trying to put the dancing moves on a fine blonde that night. For that, he is getting 3 stripes.
2009 saw Wang lose his crown.
The data was overwhelming, and, I must say absolutely amazing.
Let's review a brief CV of this year's Failboat Skipper:
- Arrived in Vegas with absolutely no shirts with a collar
- Had the ability to scatter groups of ladies much like a child chasing a flock of seagulls on the beach
- Hung on one very attractive married blonde non-stop, and even had a quote of "I'm going to dance with you until I get punched"
- Tried to break into groups of ladies dancing together.
- Tried to get change for a $20 from a stripper. (Seriously? That's EPIC. You seriously asked a stripper for change?)
For the above highlights and all your other achievements, Rex, you earned the 4 strips of the "Failboat Skipper 2009".
Wear the title proudly and loudly. Keep entertaining us. Just think, 365 days until the title passes!!
Doug will have your prize for you shortly.
:clap::clap::clap::clap: